Ok about the title. It’s a line from Big Bang Theory that Sheldon retorts with. Also, it’s what I asked my BFF yesterday while on the phone with her. If I was crazy. She said I’m not. Thank God.
Anyways! The whole point of this tirade is that I’ve been doing a lot of deep thinking lately. Yeah yeah I’m always “thinking” but this has been an oh-shit-I’m-about-to-graduate-and-need-a-grown-up-job thinking. I started thinking about what kind of career I want, what field, what kind of hours, etc, etc. When I first started college in 2007 I had chosen the degree plan to become a Medical Assistant. I had it all planned out that I’d do that then start working and continue going to school in hopes of becoming an OB/GYN one day. Slowly, my ex-husband started altering my plans and I went to speak to an Air Force recruiter in the summer of 2007 and got on the waiting list for a medical job. Come August everything was halted for a brief bit of Survival and my dreams of the medical profession were lost. At that time under the assumption that I would forever have limited function of my left hand, I changed my major to business. I’m about to graduate with my Bachelor’s of Science in Business Administration with a concentration in Management. I love business. I really do. It’s fascinating and I actually have a knack for it. BUT I’ve come to the conclusion that I DO NOT want a Monday through Friday eight to five job. I HATE that schedule. Seriously hate it. Let me list out my reasons why:
Downfall to Office Job:
- I only get 5 FULL days with Mike a month. That’s it. I’m talking cuddling in the warm morning bed, spending the day being silly together without a schedule, preferably all 3 meals, full day.
- I only have 4-5 days to get errands done a month. Typically Saturdays, since I work the days like everyone else then I have to put everything off til the weekend. But then let’s add in the occasional baby shower, birthday, girl’s night out, extended family function, whatever, now we’re cut down to 2-3 Saturdays a month.
- I only have 4-5 days a month to clean the house, do laundry, grocery shop, pay bills, etc, typically on Sundays. And I’m supposed to be a proper adult/parent and find a home church to attend to raise future kids in? Good God.
- Now factor in that I DON’T have school anymore at night and I have my evenings back BUT to get a great career job with benefits, I have to go into San Antonio or Austin. So let’s add in an hour each way for traffic.
- Leave the house at 0715-ish
- Get home about 1815-ish every night
- Make dinner then eat at 1915-ish
- Clean up after dinner and play with the pups for a bit now 2100-ish
- Watch a tv show or two and crash at 2200. Exhausting right?
- Being stuck inside for 40+ hours a week. I love to be outside in the sunshine. I get cranky being indoors for too long.
- When/If we do have kids, I’ll never be able to take/pick them up from school because of said schedule. Highly unlikely I’ll get to attend the fun stuff during the day because I’ll be at the bottom of the company totem pole and won’t have special privileges for that stuff right away.
- After having a newborn, I’ll have to pump to be able exclusively breastfeed because I’ll be stuck in an office. VERY few jobs offer telecommute and you have to establish yourself before getting that perk. Trust me I’ve been looking. Plus we’re not Europe where I can wear my newborn to work. *le sigh*
- As a working mom I’ll end up missing all my kiddos’ milestones because we unfortunately can’t be a single income household and I CAN NOT be a SAHM. (I get bored if I’m home too long. Then I procrastinate, then well… just no.) I would love a WAHM position but see above bullet for reasoning.
Then I started thinking medical again. I have regained about 80% use of my left hand so it works for the important stuff. What can I do in the medical field that has badass hours, benefits, and requires minimal school since I just spent 6 years straight full-time getting my bachelor’s??? UH HELLO!! EMS. AND I’d be able to get the good stuff. Not like being a CNA (Certified Nurse Assistant aka glorified ass wiper), or a Medical Assistant (office setting, sutures, band-aids, lots of runny noses, boring). I want blood and guts and bones sticking out and gun shot wounds. I want to act fast, do what you can, drive with the lights and sirens. Can you see my big ass cheesy grin through this?? Now granted I KNOW about 50% of EMS calls are the old people with aches and pains, or the fat people stuck on the toilet at 3 am and can’t get up, but then there are the good ones! The drunken idiot who careens off the freeway into an obliterated mess. The dumb ass who deep fried the turkey before thawing it. Oh yeah. This is what I want to do. Besides the blood and guts let me lay out the PRACTICAL reasons for wanting to work as an EMT.
EMS Job Pro/Cons:
- If I can get onto a 911 department, most in this area work 24 on/ 48 off. Meaning work one 24 hour shift and then have 2 days off. Ergo, only work 10 days out of the month.
- Let’s couple this with Mike’s 10 days a month, and we have to work opposite shifts so someone is always home with the furbabies, we are getting 10 FULL days a month to spend together. (Remember, above I averaged 5 full days a month if it’s an office job.) That means taking a random day and going to the river to relax with the pups on a NON-weekend day.
- Extra benefit to this is like most 1st Responders, I can have a part time side job for the days I’m off while Mike is working. For example, I could be a substitute teacher since I have my degree. Or work part time at a retail place to get discounts on clothes. Whatever. Or lay out at the pool in the summer time and just have an all around bad ass tan. 😉
- LOTS of extra time to clean/organize the house, find Pinterest recipes, be crafty, etc.
- More time to dedicate to sticking to our budget and paying off some debts faster. (Maybe even those dreaded school loans.) Saving money on gas!!! Think about it.
- Actually getting the front/back year spruced up. Planting my garden after three years of procrastination!
- Let’s talk pay. In an office job, majority of the time your max hours per paycheck is 80 hours. No more, no less, depending on the company. With an EMS job you work on average about 100 hours per paycheck and everything over 80 hours is overtime at time and a half. EVERY paycheck.
- One department I’m looking at, I would be taking a $1.75 pay DECREASE if hired. BUT with 20-ish hours of overtime each paycheck, I would average about $130 more per cycle. Interesting right? Even though I’m taking a pay cut hourly, I’m making more yearly.
- Let’s add insurance benefits onto this. Covered by the department. Right now I don’t have insurance because it’s too expensive to add me to Mike’s. So I have my own insurance.
- Also, I get paid holidays and sick time. I don’t have that now so it’s a step-up no matter where I go.
- Family time: One of us is ALWAYS available to take the kids to school or pick them up. I would actually have the chance to go to the kid functions during the day (school parties, performances, room mom, etc). Even if I took FMLA for the 12 weeks I’m entitled to, it would be like I’m still on leave only being gone 10 days out of the month from my newborn. Breastfeeding? TOTALLY doable this way. Private room to pump in while I’m on shift. Oh did I mention no extra daycare or after school care costs because someone is ALWAYS home?
- Let’s say I find out that I’m not cut out for this for whatever reason. (Highly doubtful.) There are so many more options. I could work administration for the fire/ems departments. I could stick it out for a few years and gain the experience and become a certified instructor and teach EMS to newbies. SO MUCH TO DO! A lot of positions in the welfare & public health sectors for someone with an EMS background.