How to Put Up a 9ft Christmas Tree

*Disclaimer: If you are a Christmas lover and can’t handle my bashing or cursing throughout the post please feel free to “X” on out of here. This is your only warning.

Let me tell you the process on how to assemble and decorate a nine foot Christmas tree in your office. (Also, how much I fucking despise Christmas.)

First, you take out all the pieces of artificial tree from the box. Then you figure out which order the pieces go in and if any of the fucking lights work. Then attempt to connect all the pieces and fucking lights strands together.

Here is the tree mostly assembled with the light strands connected. Now to figure out how to put the top piece on since I’m not tall enough for the damn nine foot tree and our ladder looks like it’s from 1929 and may fall apart when you look at it. 

*Stupid effin tree. How I despise you.*
Here I am fluffing the branches of the tree. (insert dirty porn reference here. hehe)

This is the damn tree after I put 3 boxes of ornaments and bullshit on it. Then it’s suggested I take off this, that, and the other to put on other bullshit. Fuck this stupid tree. 
AND THAT ladies and gents is how the office Grinch assembles the nine foot Christmas tree. Supposedly it looks beautiful. I don’t fucking care. I would love to kick it over. THE END.

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