So I woke up this morning in an ALMOST pissed off mood. I had a dream that I went with a friend to Sonic for lunch. It wasn’t on my usual side of town. Somewhere unfamiliar. We get out to order and eat at one of the tables. A guy walks up in an Army uniform (ACUs) and goes to order. I kept thinking I know him from somewhere. I proceed to walk up behind him to wait in line and place my order and then it hits me. His cologne. The profile of his face. His hands. His voice.
It’s my ex.
I briefly remember talking to him in my dream but being very nervous. My heart was racing. My hands were getting sweaty. I’m not sure what was said in the dream nor what I did earlier in the day to trigger a dream like that. All I know is that I ALMOST woke up in a pissed off mood. Pissed because I don’t want to dream about him anymore. I don’t want to think about him anymore. He’s not mine and I’m not his, so why is he taking up space in my mind?
Damn you first love!! Damn you. I can honestly say that my feelings are neutral towards him now. I’m not angry or depressed or anything. I’m just. I am still disappointed in specific pieces of that part of my life but I’m sure that will never go away.
But temporarily this morning I was pissed. THEN I remembered that Mike was on his way home from shift and I was HAPPY again!!! Yay!