Never ending hole…

I’ve got this overwhelming feeling of being inadequate. I feel like I don’t contribute to the “household” at all. I work two jobs, go to school part time, and yet I can’t contribute to everyday chores? I don’t know if I’m not motivated or lazy. Maybe both. I’m a mooch now? I absolutely hate the fact that I’ve even allowed myself to stoop to this kind of behavior. I’ve got a wonderful man that takes such great care of me and I take him for granted. I’m pushing him away when I don’t mean to but I’m so stressed out and frustrated. I want to vent and cry to him but it’s situations we can’t control just yet. Not to mention that with the weight I’ve put on I’m now depressed, stressed and frustrated. I’m angry too, of what I’ve become, what I can’t fix, or even what I can’t control. I just don’t know. I want happiness, calm and relaxation. To be able to enjoy small things in life without worrying bout God knows what at every moment. I need a break. Working for 30+ days in a row is starting to take it’s toll on me, plus school. I want a mini-vacation to not worry bout anything. Well my birthday is 9 days away and I’ll be 22, wonder if this year may be any better than 21.



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